The most important gas keeping us alive and toasty is water vapor, which accounts for 90% of the greenhouse effect. Methane helps. So does carbon dioxide. 

When man burns fossil fuels, he adds carbon dioxide to the air. Greens claim that this will double the air's content of carbon dioxide in the next century, enhancing the greenhouse effect, and raising temperatures by one or two Celsius degrees. 

There is good news and bad news about global warming. I'll start with the good news. 

The good news is that global warming would be great for Canadians. It would give us warmer winters, warmer nights, longer growing seasons, an expansion of agriculture into higher latitudes, and, for what it's worth, lower heating bills. 

More good news! A warm spell in the Middle Ages, like the one predicted for the 21st century, was a vintage era for human beings world-wide. 

The bad news is that enhanced warming is a hoax. It will not happen! 

The world has warmed about half a degree in the last century, but it warmed before most of the rise in carbon dioxide levels; temperatures peaked in the 1940s. Satellite observations, the most precise way to measure global temperatures, show that they have been flat to falling since the 70s—exactly when carbon dioxide levels were highest! 

What explains warm spells like the one in the Middle Ages, and cold spells like the "Little Ice Age" of the 1600s? Well, science has discovered that the weather is warmer when the sun shines more brightly, and cooler when the sun shines less brightly! 

This shocking discovery is connected with sunspots. The more sunspots, the brighter the sun shines.¹ There were hardly any sunspots in the late 1600s, and the weather got really cold. 

Predictions of global warming count on the air's carbon dioxide doubling in the 21st century. But even that isn't guaranteed! Not even if we keep on burning coal, oil and gas to our heart's content. You see, science has made the astounding discovery that there are things in the world that eat carbon dioxide! 

Plants eat carbon dioxide. The more carbon dioxide in the air, the more plants there will be, and the faster they will grow. The faster they grow, the faster they eat carbon dioxide. Once they get up to speed, they eat a lot of carbon dioxide 

Trees and bushes are the most voracious eaters of carbon dioxide, although grasses like wheat, rice and corn aren't bad either. In recent years, and despite tree huggers' fears, trees and bushes have been sneaking up on us. On average, forests have been expanding. 

Agriculturist Sherwood B. Idso and his colleagues calculate that we'll have to burn fossil fuels faster than ever to keep ahead of those insatiable plants. We're just not burning them fast enough to double carbon dioxide levels. The plants are gaining on us! 

Science has also discovered that animals eat plants, so the more plants there are, the more animals there are. The result of burning coal, oil and gas is to turn them into living plants and animals: it makes the world lusher. 

Man's fossil fuel burning is his biggest, and by far his most successful, recycling project! It takes the carbon used by plants and animals of past ages, and returns it to the air, so new plants and animals can use it. 

Why haven't you heard all this? Because, although man-made global warming is unreal, the greenhoax effect is real. 

The greenhoax effect is the process by which a "green" scientific establishment, polluted by tax money, dreams up hoaxes to stampede you into supporting more regulations, more bureaucracy and higher taxes. In the media, the greenhoaxers drown out the voices of honest scientists. 

Global warming is not the only greenhoax. The panic about ozone depletion—despite the fact that ozone is created in the upper atmosphere whenever the sun shines on it—is another greenhoax. The old story that DDT makes birds lay soft-shelled eggs is a greenhoax. The alleged unsafety of nuclear power is a greenhoax. 

Last, as well as least, the panic about "nuclear winter" was a greenhoax. 

How can you defend yourself from greenhoaxes? 

Above all, think for yourself! Rely on your own mind. Greenhoaxers count on you to take scientific reports as revelations from an infallible priesthood. Don't do it! If what they say doesn't make sense to you, that's probably because it doesn't make sense! 

Find honest scientists through the internet, and see what they have to say. Greens have a virtual monopoly over the mass media, but nobody's been able to censor the internet!² Wars of silence against truth are obsolete in the age of internet. 

Admit to yourself that the greenhoax effect is real. Environmentalists aren't just poor thinkers—they lie a lot! Some of them have said as much. (Check out the quotations page on John McCarthy's site!) 

Then, admit that rampant green dishonesty is caused by rampant green hatred of mankind. 

Environmentalism is just the latest mutation of nihilism—i.e., of anti-selfishness.³ Greens view mankind as a blight on the Earth, and their proposals are crafted to oppose human interests. (I'm not making this up: see McCarthy's quotations page.) They fear that if they were honest about their hostility to men's interests, men would tell them to go to hell. 

How can you help others to defend themselves from greenhoaxes? 

That's easy! Just copy and spread articles like this one, articles that offer links to honest scientists and that unmask the greenhoax effect! 

In fact, copy and spread this article! 

¹ I know sunspots are dimmer than the rest of the sun, but they're surrounded by areas that are brighter than the rest. The bright bits win out. 
² A good place to start is S. Fred Singer's site at http://www.sepp.org/ Another great site is John McCarthy's at http://www-formal.stanford.edu/jmc/progress/index.html. More great links on Quackgrass Press' Outside Links page. 
³ See Quackgrass Press #10: Nihilist mutants.

You needn’t despair at greenhoaxes—you can become a Quackgrass activist! Copy this article! Keep the original for future copies. Paper meetings with it! Paper your office! Leave a stack on your business counter! If you expect hostility, use stealth and cunning—it’ll drive your opponents wild! Be ingenious! Have fun! 

Michael Miller is an engineer and Objectivist filosofer with thirty years of experience. He had been a member of Boycott Alberta Medicare in 1969 and of the Association to Defend Property Rights from 1973 on. He writes in-depth filosofical theory at his publication, Quackgrass Press, which can be accessed at http://www.quackgrass.com.